Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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