I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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