dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
