I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
