I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Last time i carry you out of a forest
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
