remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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