I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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