Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
