just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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