chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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