It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
