Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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