its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
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