She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
