The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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