her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
