Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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