I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Randomize
