i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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