Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
