I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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