On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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