I'm gonna have a badass scar
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
