Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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