Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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