All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Randomize
