is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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