No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Are we still banned from the library?
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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