I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
