Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
3pm strippers are depressing
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
