Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I have fence marks all over my body
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
