That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
