I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
