It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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