i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
All the doctor said was why
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
