Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Farmville is her only friend.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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