that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
