Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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