got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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