He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
