I wish I could punch you in the face.
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Randomize
