So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
my poor anus
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Randomize
