i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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