Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Randomize
