you turned your livingroom into a bong?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
