Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
