that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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