don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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