I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
