YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Randomize
