she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
May the power of my ass compel you!!
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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