Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
